


The Deep End

by nottinghamroad



Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Charles-centric, Fluff, M/M, POV Charles, Some angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-25
Updated: 2014-08-25
Packaged: 2018-02-14 14:18:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2194953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nottinghamroad/pseuds/nottinghamroad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charles reflects on how he gave up any semblance of put-togetherness when Erik came into his life. Lots of fluffy, besotted Charles thinking about how Erik came to be so important to him. Some angst in reference to Charles' past, which contains mentions of abuse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Deep End

There had been a few indications to Charles that perhaps his mind wasn’t all there over the past couple of months. The stress of preparing his dissertation defense, making his way through his last few exams, and putting the finishing touches on his write-ups were certainly not helping him maintain a sane demeanor. Raven had been incredibly patient with him and had foregone several undergraduate get-togethers to sit with Charles and listen to him rant about how awful the final few months of obtaining a doctorate were. She made sympathetic noises in all the right places and even offered him mint tea when she sensed he was on the verge of tears. There were plenty of things vying for Charles’ attention, and he was barely able to devote the minimum amount of attention to any one of them. He felt like he was teetering on the edge of stress-induced insanity-somewhere in between wading in and flinging himself off a diving board. 

But when Charles Xavier met Erik Lehnsherr in the audience of one of his friend’s thesis defenses, he could feel himself going completely off the deep end. The friend had done a brief study on unique animal mutations for his master’s project. At the buffet dinner following the presentation, Charles caught Erik levitating a fork and sending it dancing across the table once most of the other students had left. Delighted, Charles captured the fork before it danced right off the table and shared his ability with Erik. From there they had immediately launched into animated conversation about the nature of mutation in humans and how non-mutant humans would react when they found out about them, and how and if mutants could peacefully coexist with humans in the near future. Charles found Erik to be inexhaustibly articulate and full of a mad passion to unite all of the other mutants in the world into a brotherhood where they could live together and celebrate one another instead of hiding out and feeling like freaks. 

Erik wasn’t formally educated past high school, but his intelligence and his thirst for knowledge were radiant in the way that he spoke and the way his eyes sparkled when he went off on something he was passionate about. 

His eyes were a singular experience in and of themselves. They harbored a peculiar mix of grey and green that widened when he was trying to make a point and narrowed when he was condemning something, which was often. Charles found himself prolonging eye contact for much more than he ought to when Erik was around. 

Erik seemed a rather stoic man from the outside, but his eyes were the center of his expression and betrayed him to be an emotional and eloquent person. They talked for hours that first night until the graveyard shift janitor kicked them out. It was difficult to separate the two once they had made the initial connection. Charles was constantly on the phone with Erik, and Erik was constantly whisking Charles away from the stresses of his PhD to new coffee shops around town. He often marveled at the amount of time Erik chose to spend with him. Charles wasn’t really unpopular at NYU, but he was isolated more often than not save Raven, bless her soul. 

It was difficult for Charles to be anything beyond superficially friendly towards his peers.The concept of a long-lasting, supportive relationship or even friendship was really not something that had been modeled for him at home. That made it difficult to grasp. It wasn’t that Charles saw no value in love. No, there was great value in it and Charles was desperate to be loved and desperate to love others. But he knew that he was simply too much-too emotional, too caught up in his research, and too perceptive of others thanks to his mutation for anyone to really invest in him in the long term. 

But Erik seemed to think otherwise. For some reason that completely escaped Charles, Erik saw value in his opinion, in his intellect, and even in his mutation. Their dates were peppered with small instances of troublemaking using their mutations (Erik was particularly fond of stealing cutlery from people at restaurants just to frustrate them), rare moments of fun that Charles treasured. The way Erik never took anything for granted and constantly questioned Charles’ knowledge made him a better debater and academic, as he constantly had to be up on his sources in order to convince Erik that one of his points was even worth considering when it came to mutant issues. 

Erik sharpened him. Erik encouraged him and built him up. And it seemed-for just a few seconds at a time-when there was that special gleam in Erik’s eye or when he would smile conspiratorially as if something was just between the two of them-or those even briefer moments where Charles would catch Erik stealing a glance at his lips-that something in Erik was drawn to Charles. That in and of itself was intoxicating. To have someone not only enjoy his presence but constantly be pursuing more of it was something Charles had never experienced outside of Raven’s familial concern. He had always been shunted to the side, supplanted by more impressive stepsiblings and an abusive stepfather who manipulated his mother into negligence. 

It was following this sequence of events and the falling into place of complicated emotions that Charles Xavier found himself to be in love with Erik Lehnsherr. There was no way around it. The flash of the man’s eyes, the hard line of his jaw, his sinewy form, and the way he never stood down from what he believed had Charles completely head over heels. It was embarrassing, really, how much he looked forward to Erik’s name appearing on his phone, to their long, happy hours spent talking over steaming cups of coffee, and to the hesitant way Erik shook his hand and patted his shoulder after they spent time together. His hands were strong and firm, and Charles couldn’t help but memorize the little patches of warmth they left on his shoulders after every rendezvous. 

So it happened on their Friday morning coffee date that Charles decided to drop at least the barest hint of the depth of his feelings for Erik. They spent the time switching easily between heated arguments, civil discussions, and snarky judgements of the people around them, as they always did. When the time rolled around for Charles to get to class and Erik back to his job at the mechanics, Charles lingered. He drank the last few sips of his coffee in a long-drawn out manner, savoring every moment in the presence of the man who had carved out a place all his own in Charles’ heart. 

They arrived at their usual parting location, outside of Charles’ office, and Erik extended his hand to be shaken. Charles grasped Erik’s hand firmly in his own and stared at their entwined fingers. Then in a burst of courage, he drew the other man close so that he could feel Erik’s breath on his face and so that their eyes were locked. He searched the taller man’s eyes for some indication that he would object-and having found none he took Erik’s face in his hands and kissed him. The kiss was chaste and sweet, a soft confession hoping for an answer. Charles held the embrace for a few moments and then began to draw back so as not to spook Erik too badly. But before he could break the kiss entirely, Erik wrapped his arms around Charles’ waist and turned the kiss into something else entirely-the answer to Charles’ confession that he had been hoping for, and the possible blooming of something golden and precious.


End file.
